Oh my god, NOWHERE is safe, they know EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING I tell you.
As I visited the shops for perhaps the last time this week, stockpiling beans and potatoes in preparation for the media-induced, inevitable "end of civilisation as we know it because of the internet" panic, I took a moment to reflect.
It seems that we are heading towards a society where the concept of privacy is being tested as never before, and yes it's largely down to technology and our ability to distribute information at an unprecedented rate.
It's too large a subject to cover in this column, but what do familiar terms like behavioural targeting, user data, and cookies, really mean for marketers?
What internet businesses are collecting is information on when you visit them, where you've come from, where you go to, what you look at, what other sites you visit, how often you visit, what you buy, where you live, how old you are...and the list goes on. It's more substantial than traditional surveys and arguably much more accurate; it's also real-time.
It allows businesses to optimise their advertising inventory and the advertiser to reach increasing peaks of relevancy and therefore effectiveness. For the consumer the experience is better.
I see a time in the near future where sites will need to ensure that customers are fully aware of what information is being collected. Some say they do already, but it's pretty well hidden.
Then or now it comes down to choice and the 'consumer in control.' It reminded me of a time when a certain Mrs Whitehouse was condemning TV programmes as morally bankrupt and obscene. I couldn't help thinking then (and I was only a wee lad, so either I'm a genius or the idea was glaringly obvious):
"Why don't you watch something else?"
Alex Marks is Head of UK Marketing, Microsoft Digital Advertising Solutions